Have you ever been intrigued by someone so much that you found yourself kind of crushing over them? Perhaps a celebrity figure... or maybe even a colleague at work. Do you dream of taking luxurious vacations that your bestie seems to enjoy each year but never have the time or money to make it happen? Do you envy the body of the person next to you on the treadmill and ask yourself why you just can't seem to get yours to look like that? Do you wonder if you'll ever have the chance to drive that dream car your lucky boss gets to zoom around town in? How do you feel when these thoughts take over your head?
Most of us have been conditioned our whole life to view "jealousy" as something ugly and disgraceful. When this emotion stirs up inside, we think there must be something wrong with us to have an ill-mannered feeling toward another human being. We might feel a sense of shame towards ourselves or even disdain towards the person who has what it is we long for.
What if I told you that jealousy doesn't have to be an unpleasant emotion at all? What if I told you that to the contrary, it can be viewed as a healthy emotion that shows up in your life for a very precise reason?
Over the past year, I have devoured a ton of self-help books and podcasts. I have learned so much about tuning in to my mind and emotions and understanding what it is that they are communicating to me. I am appreciative of the new perspective I've gained on the emotion of jealousy. While we certainly don't want to spend a good deal of our time in a jealous mode, the nudge could be trying to tell us something.
We have the ability to condition our mind to look at the feeling of envy from a brand new perspective. When the urge to be envious strikes, take a moment to acknowledge your emotion and sit with it. Ask yourself what it is that they have you find yourself longing after. You may be drawn toward their state of being. Is it the way they carry themselves and exude confidence? Indicating that you yourself long to feel this way. It could also be a tangible, material thing you lust after. Is it the big house in the country with land for miles? Indicating that deep down you no longer wish to live in your cramped downtown apartment.
One of my favorite spiritual guru's Noor Hibbert says, "Embrace your jealously as an incredible indicator of what you desire - because if you desire it, it’s meant for YOU!" This idea really resonated with me deeply. Jealously has the ability to tell us a whole lot about ourselves and what we hold as our deepest desires. Why should we be ashamed of that?
The next time you feel green with envy, silently thank that person or situation for enlightening you. Take note of what you long for. Journal about your thoughts and ideas or pin a picture of it to your Vision Board. (Tips for this can be found here!) Then move on, take inspired action, and get yourself one step closer to obtaining the "thing" you desire. There is no shame in recognizing and acting on what it is you seek in life. The important part is that you don't allow it to become an "ill-mannered" feeling or an obsession. Don't let it turn you into a green eyed monster. Instead, take notice and ask yourself if it is a true desire. If the answer is a "hell yes!" then go after it. Trust that if it is meant for you, it will find its way to you.